Horoscope to Kristiana:

Thursday, May 1st, 2008 — You are already eager to move on to your next phase, but today it’s a smarter strategy to stay with one experience longer. An entirely new perspective can open as you settle beneath the bright lights of surface distractions. Even if you are scared of the dark, pushing through your fears can bring love closer to you now.

Kristiana to Horoscope:

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck you.

“the bright lights of surface distractions”? who writes this crap.